fear

I can’t stop humming, “O Little Town of Bethlehem.”  In the car, in the tub, on the train to work:  the silent stars, angels keeping watch, and that wrinkly little newborn God have taken hold of my mind and my heart. 

The line I keep coming back to, though, is this:  “The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.” 

In the wake of Christmas, here is a list of my fears, in no particular order.  I thought if I got them out on “paper” they might not be so scary and, if you have the courage to share yours, we can hold vigil together during the next few weeks until God is born again, in you, in me - transforming every fear into hope.

Without further adieu, here's my list:

  +  I’m afraid I’m not as smart and “together” as people think I am.

  +  I’m afraid I’m not as much fun as I used to be.

  +  I’m afraid the world is meaner than I thought it was.

  +  I’m afraid I‘m going to die young.

  +  I’m afraid my life doesn’t reflect my faith.

  +  I’m afraid someone is going to hurt my children and I won’t be able to protect them.

So, those are some of my fears - at least the ones I'm able to admit!  Next time I feel anxious and fearful, even if it’s not Christmastime, I’m going to think about that silent star, those angels keeping watch, that wrinkly little newborn, and that line:  “The hopes and fears of all the years are met in thee tonight.”

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Thank you to Sabrina Tang for this new, little miracle (ten hours old!).